Over the weekend, I made a hard decision. It’s hard to admit to, as well.
While visiting families and friends in another state, I noticed the difference between how I organize my life and how they organize theirs. There are advantages to the way they live. In fact, I struggle with jealousy’s touch during my visit.
I realized I’m not taking other people’s perspectives of me into account when I set my priorities and goals. And the attitude of “I don’t care what people think of me” is only good during childhood. In adulthood, to not care is selfish.
During childhood, I was responsible for myself. Other people were also responsible for me. However, I didn’t need to take responsibility for anyone else.
I do now. I’m married. My family occasionally asks me for advice, and I now understand the consequences of providing it. I’d like children, not just Someday, but soon. I can’t, or shouldn’t, make decisions based primarily on my wants and needs.
So, the point of all this is that I’m seriously cutting back on my involvement in the writing process. For a while, anyway.
My new goals:
- Get a steady job, or jobs, that will cover at least half of my household’s expenses.
- Progress our fledging business enough that my husband is teaching paying students.
- Clean, fix, and decorate my house so that I’ll feel comfortable with visitors.
Until I accomplish these goals, I’m not setting aside time to write or allowing writing to distract me from my scheduled tasks for the day.
That means I won’t post to this site, read about writing, nor work on any of my stories except in my “free time”. Mostly, the free time will be on the weekends and early on nights when nothing is scheduled.
Also, when I can write, my stories take priority. I can’t pop out blog posts like some people can; each post takes me hours to build (believe it or not). Maybe it’s my OCD tendencies, which don’t ensure that I’m accurate, only that I take a long to make possibly trivial decisions.
I’ll visit and post to Shadows when I can. I’ll also visit other people’s blogs when it won’t bring guilt to me.
Posts may or may not publish weekly. The schedule mentioned on Monday (in a post written last week and set for automatic publication) may or may not be relevant. I trust that you understand.
Until next time,